Yes, I drew it in class. Yes, it took me all of ten minutes. Yes, I might be making excuses. Yes, I am now saying 'yes' because I have gotten into a repeating sentence format. Yes, ...
At any rate, as was requested, I made a new mnemonic for the 12 brothers who's offspring went onto become the tribes of Israel:
As I walk into Reid hall from a cold winter day, there is a reuben sandwich sitting on the stairs leading to floor two. It looks delicious, steam rising from its buns, meat sweating. I can feel it in my mouth--warm, tender, and cooked to perfection. But when I bend to pick it up, its soaking wet. Some joker has sprayed the simple sandwich with water and made it inedible. Damn him.
I walk up the stairs and am confronted by a Simeon-Oxen (like a half chimp, half bull creature) and an ox made out of denim. Slightly confused, I walk forward, but they are attacked by a lion wearing a Yamaka (Judah the Jewish Lion). As it shreds the levi skin of one of the poor oxen, a zephyr slams into the side of the Business hall. On closer inspection, the zephyr is an air ship with a crew of pirate Charmanders riding donkeys. They are adorable, with cute little pirate hats: "Char, char, charmander!" Blasting the lions and oxen with their cannons as they gallop around on the donkeys; however, a wild Ekans appears named Dan to save the day. Dan is actually a fine English gentleman who happens to be a snake. "Oh hoy hoy, my boys! Why do you attack a gent so?" Egad! Charmanders use trample on Ekans and then breath flames on the poor Ekans' body, leaving only ashes. However, in Charland, ashes are money. Of course this is highly retarded because Charmanders burn everything to ash and this makes Charland's economy hyper-inflated. In fact, this is why they invaded the business building in the first place: their misguided belief that the COB held gold in its basement.
The Charmanders frantically search for the gold but are confronted by the Green goddess of the forest, Naphtali, in the shape of a deer--Naphtali is also the goddess of NAFTA and has thus been made rich off the back of American subsidies on corn and wheat at the expense of Mexicans, though she has quite the beautiful tail. Joseph of the fruitful bowels, he wears five pairs of underpants, leaps to the Charmanders' aid, causing some of the Charmanders to flip through the evolution stages and arrive at Charizards. Benjamin, his misunderstood brother, volunteers to defend Naphtali and sends forth the wolf Pokemon, Jolteon. They duke it out and the Charizards win, saving Charland and Mexico forever. The end.
List: in Reid Hall
1. Sopping Wet Reuben on the stairs
2, 3. Monkey (simeon) ox and Levi ox on 2nd floor
4. Judah the Jewish Lion on 2nd floor
5. Zebulon, the zephyr
6. Issachar of the ass-riding Charmander army
7. Dan the Ekans
8. Gad of the trampled exclamation
9. Asher of the rich ashes of Charland
10. Nephtali, the deer of NAFTA and the beautiful tail
11. Joseph of the fruitful bowels
12. Benjamin, the misunderstood free-trade bloc and his Jolteon
Epilogue:
It was the Squirtles who had wetted the sandwich to begin with, as is their calling card. The Squirtles had been waging economic war on Charland since its inception and had formed a plot, using the fire Pokemon's gullibility, to make them attack business-orientated humans in an attempt to escalate their recession. America's Congress had wrongfully believed that Charland's undervalued currency was an attempt at dumping (that is, dumping cheap products into the American market and then raising the price once they had driven out the competition). What Congress had gotten wrong was Charland's national vitality. Charmanders are notoriously stupid. They run naked because they are constantly burning the clothes off themselves. They also reproduce like rabbits but at the same time burn their food supply in a lame attempt to produce currency so they can buy food on the market for a cheaper price. Of course, this is a self-defeating policy, one that was made a national mandate upon the election of Rutherford B. Charmander who went on to be elected for another four terms. At any rate, the Squirtles were thwarted in this case with the help of Fruitful Bowels.
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